I hate junk mail so much. It offends me to the very core of my being. I have been of a mission in the last few weeks, a mission to stop the junk mail madness. It’s to the point now where if I don’t empty the mailbox daily, my local mail carrier will be forced to stuff the mail in with a hydraulic ram. He enjoys that sort of thing. I get that. Still, I’m tired of setting aside 10 minutes each day making 3 piles. 1 small pile of my mail, 1 small pile of wife’s mail and 1 large pile of dead trees dedicated to prying me away from my money.

This is a list of every organization I have contacted to get my name off of specific and general lists. If you know of any more to add, please leave a comment. Some links will take you to more similar sources but what I have here is pretty much definitive.

You have to blanket these. The key here is to contact every one of these places that mail you stuff and do it all at once, that way you “should” see a difference in about 6 weeks.
The fact is that the post office holds weeks and weeks of their crap, staged to go out in waves. Once its at the post office, it cant be recalled. Patience and persistence is key

Some places here may not have your name, it may not be wise to contact a company that has not contacted you.

Useful Junkmail Resources:
http://www.kahl.net/reduce/junktips.html – This guy invoiced junkmailers and actually made money. Good resource

http://www.newdream.org/junkmail/index.php – This page generates forms for you to mail.

http://www.junkmailstopper.com/

http://www.ciwmb.ca.gov/WPW/HOME/junkmail.htm

http://www.obviously.com/junkmail/

http://bullwinkle.as.utexas.edu/junkmail/

The folks in the bay area decided that junk mail is bad and they used Adobe Acrobat to fight it: http://bayarearecycling.org/junkmail/sample.htm http://netjunk.com/users/unpretentious/junkmail.html

Cast A Wide Net And Start Strong:

The DMA and Credit Card Pre-Screen offers make up the bulk of the bulk (75%). Hit these hard and make sure they have every possible permutation of name / address you want removed.

Big List Of People Who Hate Junkmail:
Direct Marketing Association (AKA the holder of the big do-not-mail list)

http://www.the-dma.org/

http://www.dmaconsumers.org/consumerassistance.html

Start by sending a postcard or letter to Mail Preference ServiceDirect Marketing Association Mail Preference Service
P.O. Box 643
Carmel, NY 10512Tel:
1- 212-768-7277
www.dmaconsumers.org
Include your complete name, address, zip code and a request to “activate the preference service”. For up to five years, this will stop mail from all member organizations that you have not specifically ordered products from.

The Direct Marketing Association estimates that listing with their mail preference service will stop 75% of all national mailings. They process 50,000 requests a month and requests are kept active for five years. If you fill out the post office change of address form, the DMA will track the new address (you’ll get a few months of mailings to the new address before they catch up to you). It can take up to six months for your request to be fully processed. You can also opt-out online, but they charge $5. The best way is to fill out their online form, then mail them a printout.

The Credit Monster:
All of the credit reporting companies not only do a good job of placing incorrect things on your credit report, they also sell your credit info and addresses to credit card companies. Using the opt-out pre-screen opt-out-er thingy, you should be able, in theory, to stop getting the “you can have this visa platinum card and get more debt!” Credit Card Pre Screen Offers: You must do this one. This is the blanket that covers the majority of credit card offers

www.optoutprescreen.com/?rf=t Dial 1-888-5 OPT OUT (or 1-888-567-8688) 24 hours a day.

If you feel good about what you just did with opting out of the DMA and the Credit Card offers, this is where it gets more tricky. You see, the jerks that collect names don’t want to lose any of them. In light of that, they make it difficult to get off their lists. Now, they are required by law to make it somewhat easy but our current administration is more concerned with making oil companies rich than anything like our silly privacy rights.

As you get junk mail, be sure to keep the entire thing intact until you decide what to do with it and have completed the task. If you have a simple number to call, call it, get your name off the list and write the junkmailers company name on a list. See how long it takes to stop getting their crap. Thats a project for psychos like me. You can feel free to throw it out or burn it on the lawn whilst dancing nude and chanting at the sky. It’s your deal.

A place to start the big fight ahead. You can contact each of these companies and get them to take your name / address and info off their lists.

Abacus Direct -
PO Box 1478 Broomfield
CO 80038-1478
Alternate Address:
11101 West 120th Ave.
Broomfield, CO 80021303-410-5100 (1 800-518-4453 or 1 303-410-5294)

Abacus runs the world’s largest “co-op” database, where about a thousand catalogers pool information on about 88 million consumers’ buying behavior. Privacy advocates opposed its 1999 merger with DoubleClick (DCLK). http://www.doubleclick.com/us/contact_us/

Acxiom Corporation
Attn: Opt-outs / Consumer Advocacy,
PO Box 2000, Conway AR 72033-2000 (1-501-342-2722)
They may send you another form to fill out. This unfairly burdens you, but no law stops them from making it difficult or impossible for you to stop them making money off your name.
Acxiom (ACXM) maintains a database about 175 million people in 110 million U.S. households, with hundreds of pieces of information available on each. http://www.acxiom.com/default.aspx?ID=2851&DisplayID=18#choices

Advo (The card with the missing kid on one side and a coupon for carpet cleaning on the other) http://www.advo.com/consumersupport.html
Call 1-860-285-6100 to get off the list.
You may have to send a postcard to
ADVO Consumer Assistance,
PO BOX 249,
Windsor CT 06095-4176
Alternate Address:
One Univac Lane Windsor,
CT 06095

American ExpressCustomer Service
American Express
200 Vesey St. Tower C
New York, NY 102851-800-327-2177

AOL 1-800-605-4297 (24 hours a day) to get off the list. Tell them your first name is “current”, last name “resident”.

ATFA (telephone fund raisers) – I could not find this one on line so I don’t know much about how it pertains to bulk mail in general but it’s worth a look-see
USPS Kilbuck Branch
1001 California Avenue
P.O. Box 99356 Pittsburgh,
PA 15233-9998

Austin American Statesman Print Plus / Texas Gold
No valid data on this yet – Call the main number and find out who is in charge of “the crap that fills my mailbox every day”

American Family Publishers Box 62000 Tampa, FL. 33662 Phone (800) 237-2400
Perhaps Ed McMahon will kiel over and this deluge will stop. Perhaps not.

Carol Wright: (I don’t get these but I think some people do and it looks like crap) http://www.carolwrightgifts.com/ 800-67-TARGET

Database America

http://list.infousa.com/dbupdate.htm

Compilation Department,
470 Chestnut Ridge Rd,
Woodcliff Lake NJ 07677-7604 (1-800-223-7777 or 800-321-0869)
This company was acquired by InfoUSA. They also offer an online opt-out service provided your telephone number is in their database. DBA’s policy states they will remove names on request, but we have reports that in some instances DBA has failed to reply or replied asking consumers to contact the DMA.

Donnelly Marketing, Inc.

http://www.rrdonnelley.com/wwwRRD/Home.asp

Data Base Operations (data base or database? they could have a real base, thats neat)
416 S. Bell
Ames IA 50010 (1-515-382-5441)
After a few weeks you will probably receive a letter acknowledging your “request” and a booklet titled Direct Marketing: Opening the Door to Opportunity, published by the DMA. Donnelly was acquired in 1999 by InfoUSA (IUSA).

Dunn & Bradstreet

http://www.dnb.com/us/

Customer Service
899 Eaton Ave.
Bethlehem, PA 18025

Harte Hanks

http://www.harte-hanks.com

(Pennysaver or Potpourri)
2830 Orbiter St.
Brea, CA(800) 422-4116

InfoUSA

http://list.infousa.com/dbupdate.htm

Attn: Product Quality
PO Box 27347,
Omaha NE 68127 (1 888-633-4402)
Formerly titled American Business Information, Inc., InfoUSA (IUSA) are the owners of ProCD, a CD-ROM containing the addresses and phone numbers of most Americans.

Money Mailer Coupon Envelopes (junk, crap and garbage, delivered right to you) http://www.moneymailer.com/contact.html

Metromail Corp

http://www.metromail.com/direct_marketing/index1.html

Consumer Services,
901 West Bond,
Lincoln, NE 68521 (1-800-228-4571, Ext. 4633).
After 2-3 weeks you will probably receive a postcard saying “Thank you for notifying us of your preference…” even if you sent them a demand, not an expression of preference.

National Demographics and Lifestyles Co. (this is where your warrantee cards really go)
(No phone number, no URL, these people are obviously criminals, hiding from the public. I suspect they molest goats)
List Order Department
1621 18th St., No. 300
Denver, CO. 80202 Phone (800) 525-3533

R.L. Polk Company
www.polk.com
Opt-Out Coordinator,
The Polk Company,
26955 Northwestern Highway,
Southfield MI 48034-8455
(1-800-873-7655)
Alternate Contact:
Name Deletions, List Compilation Dept.
6400 Monroe Blvd,
Taylor, MI 48180-1814
1-800-873-7655
(Opt-out program)After a few weeks you will probably receive a letter stating that they have “responded to your request.” Polk is privately held. Polk sold some of its databases to InfoUSA.

Publishers Clearinghouse http://www.publishersclearinghouse.com/infocenter/privacypolicy.shtml#5
101 Channel Drive
Port Washington, N.Y. 11050
Phone (800) 645-9242
Alternate Address:
382 Channel Drive
Port Washington, New York, 11050

Readers Digest

http://www.rd.com/profilecenter/openPreferencePage.do

Readers Digest Rd.
Pleasantville, N.Y. 10570 Phone
(800) 234-9000

Val-Pak

http://www.valpak.com/vpcol/contact.do

Label Order Department
8605 Largo Lakes Drive
Largo, FL 33773
Tel: 1-888-797-1896

Zabasearch
www.zabasearch.com
This is a portal that aggregates names from multiple databases. It’s a gold mine for identity thieves. Be sure to get your name off their site. It takes you writing a paper letter to do it but it does work and takes a few weeks.
www.zabasearch.com/thankyou.php – opt out

Trickery to get them to stop:

USPS Form 1500 Prohibitory Order – The Big Gun This form is used to prohibit a company from sending you anything anymore. It was used for only pornographic material but the supreme court decided it was ok to use for any direct mail. Feel free to abuse it. http://www.usps.com/forms/_pdf/ps1500.pdf

First class mail: Cross out the address and bar code, circle the first class postage and write “refused: return to sender”. Drop in any mail box, it will be returned to the sender.

Bulk mail: The post office throws away bulk mail it can’t deliver, so returning it does no good. Bulk mail is the hardest to deal with because the USPS actively provides addresses, support and encouragement to mailers. However, if “address correction requested” is written on the label: circle “address correction requested” and treat like first class mail.

Tips:

1. Do not give out your phone number, address or sign up for anything. When the freaks at radio-shack ask for your phone number use this line : “It is against my personal privacy policy to give out any personal information, now give me my damn USB cable” Simply, said, every company is using ANY data they can to develop a lead list. A list of potential customers they can send their marketing message to. Just don’t do it. Do not give out your info, not to BestBuy, Circuit City, or anyone else. So you may ask, what about when I order on-line, or over the phone? I have to give them my address. Ok, simple, tell them EXPLICITLY, “do not add me to ANY of your mailing or marketing lists and you do not have my permission to sell my personal information to any agency or third party”

2. Catalogs. You get them, you ordered one stupid thing from Red Envelope for your mom 7 years ago and now you get something from them in the mail almost weekly. Call the customer service number and ask to be removed from their mailing list. Its that simple. Make a pile in your office / somewhere, of unsolicited mail and pick a day once a month to sit down and call each of them to get off their lists.

3. Credit Cards. I had to call American Express and tell them to stop sending me applications for their cards, I already had one, dufuses… Amex, Chase, MBNA (one of the worst), Capital One, etc, they are out to get you as a customer, you are going to have to call each one and it may take a few tries but it does work. You are also going to need to call each of your credit card companies where you are already a customer and tell them to stop emailing, and mailing you marketing material. With this you have to be very explicit. Again, it may take a few tries. I threatened to cut their card up and close the account. That sort of worked. They don’t like it much when you reject them. Be firm.

4. Warrantee Cards. In most states is is ILLEGAL to make a consumer fill out a warrantee card in order to get a product covered. The cards all go to a few mailing list clearinghouses. All they are doing is collecting your name so they can sell it to other companies. Some companies make more from their mailing lists than their products. DO NOT FILL THEM OUT UNLESS YOU HAVE TO, THERE IS OFTEN NO BENEFIT.

I grabbed this bit off of a good website: http://www.obviously.com/junkmail/ Whenever you donate money, order a product or service, or fill out a warranty card, write in large letters, “Please do not sell my name or address”. Most organizations will properly mark your name in the computer. Product warranty cards are are often used to collection information on your habits and income, for the sole purpose of targeting direct mail. They are not required in most situations – avoid sending them. On the telephone, ask “Please mark my account so that my name is not traded or sold to other companies”.

Your credit card company probably sells your name the most often. Call them and ask them to stop. “Contests” where you fill in a little entry blank are almost always fishing expeditions for names. If you fill one out at a football game, for example, expect to get a catalog of football merchandise within a few months. Avoid these if you don’t want the mail.

Select a false middle name or initial for each charity or business you deal with. Keep track of which letter goes with which organization. You can also select a false road designator, “avenue, place, circle, street, highway, parkway, etc.”. This step can be very revealing. Some guides recommend changing the spelling of your name, but this can lead to duplicate mailings. For the UK folks: http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/mpsr/

Getting your name and address removed from junk mail lists is a time consuming but fruitful task. It will take at least a month to see results but if you hit the big targets first, you’ll notice it. Some will take more effort than others. The list I have is not perfect, it does not cover everyone and could use some updating, post a comment if you see an inaccuracy or omission.

Continue to collect the errant junk mail and track them down like the filthy rat bastards that they are.

Good luck.

Since moving back to Austin I have re-joined the local volunteer fire department. When I had lived here 5 years ago I was in the department. Lots of great training, driving the red truck, putting out trash and car fires. Nothing terribly exotic.

I spent most of yesterday morning in bed, dead to the world. By the time my natural alarm clock kicked in it was nearly lunchtime. A plus to being self-employed, no one yells at me for sleeping in. I got my shit together, wrote out my errands and tasks for the day and was about to get into some posting to carhacks.org when my fire pager went off. For the last 3 weeks there have been an abundance of EMS calls and very few fire related ones. In fact it’s been nearly zero. This call was for the big one. The dispatcher informs us of a structure fire.

Now, I’ve gotten structure fire calls before, mostly someones trash bin gets a little smokey and all hell breaks loose. I’ve seen some sheds burn down, good burns, but not something scary. Dispatch told us that this was a 2 story house with smoke coming out of the eaves. I went into adrenaline mode. Jumped in the Yukon hit the lights and shot down to the station where the truck was waiting to roll.

I was getting thrown around the back of the engine as I tried to get my gear on and attach the air-pack to me properly. As we pulled up we could see some smoke coming out of the roof-line. I grabbed a halligan and the other guy off the engine grabbed an axe. The Lt. told us to make entry. Now this is something I’ve been wanting to do for a while. I’ve been to a bunch of forcible-entry classes, i know what to do, I’ve used every destructive tool known to fire-fighting but I’ve never been fully packed out and needed to bust down the door in real-time.

We get to the door and I slide the flat pry portion of the halligan tool into the door and tell the other guy to hit the side of it to wedge it for leverage. I give the bar a good pry which makes lots of breaking noise. I pull the bar out, swing it way back and hit the door right on the deadbolt. The door blows open. It was the coolest thing I’ve ever done. What I did next was the most dangerous.

Now that the house was open and smoke was pouring out I nearly forgot everything I have ever learned about firefighting. It’s like when you go into a record store, you instantly unlearn every band you ever liked and end looking at end caps and walking out with some shitty CD you already have.

We had a 3 man team together to do a primary victim search. We headed up the stairs on all fours. Half way up the stairs we had zero visibility. The whole second floor was completely full of smoke. I realized that NOT ONE of us had a flashlight. Fucking brilliant. I knew I had a light in my pocket. A pocket that is easy to get to when I don’t have gloves on, when I’m not wearing a pack , when it’s not dark, when it’s not already 250 degrees. I make my clumsy way down the stairs to get some light on the subject and extricate my small flashlight from my pocket. We go back up the stairs and start the search. As we turn the corner into the first room we realize that with no visibility we needed to be focusing on keeping in contact. I lost touch with the guy in front of me but grabbed him real quick. Actually I lost touch with him and grabbed the arm of a couch. It took me about 30 seconds to realize that. Great. At all-four level the temperature of the room where our heads were was about 280 degrees. Should one of us stand up, the temperature near the ceiling was closer to five or seven hundred degrees. Losing ones head can lead to losing ones head.

The lead guy had the TIC camera. A heat camera that shows you where the fire is. Well, with the low visibility and all of confused about weather we were there to find fire find people or both, the camera wasn’t put to use. We were also carrying a fire extinguisher. Now, if a whole house is full of smoke, what are the odds that a fire extinguisher is going to do anything to that fire? I noticed a window in the room that we were in. We called in to IC (Incident Command) and asked if we should vent the room and break the window. We got an ok. My second cool destructive thing to do. Breaking a regular window is cool. Considering that all of us were 4 minutes into a structure, we didn’t know where the fire was, we didn’t have anything to do about the fire if we did find it and were potentially fueling the fire by breaking the window, things were not good. Still, I wanted to have a window to jump the fuck out of should there be any particularly hairy shit going down behind us. There was a whole other part of the house that we had not seen yet and there was likely fire in the attic which could cause a collapse, leaving us in a relatively bad spot.

The window I found was screened, had blinds, drapes and was behind a couch. My trusty halligan didn’t like the window. The window didn’t like the halligan. All of the obstructions made the window smashing a pretty crappy job. The little metal window panes didn’t make the job any easier. Overall it was a bummer.

All of us snapped to the fact that we were somewhat useless and potentially in harms way. Having not found fire, having wasted a good amount of time breaking the window and not using the TIC camera to find the fire that we would be unable to put out was enough for all of to just get up and leave. Fortunately the Asst. Chief came up the to the top of the stairs and yelled at us to get out.

Once we exited the structure, AFD came in with a hose-line, found the fire, put it out and all was good with the world.

I learned quite a lot in that little adventure. I’m still absorbing the data. I’m sure I’ll absorb more on Tuesday when all of the officers will yell at different people for various things, me being on of those people.